I love my haters. There's a special place in my heart for them. I would give these people kisses and hugs if I could. And although we have our ups and downs, like any couple does, I'm thankful for them.
Before I tell you why I appreciate the haters, I'll share some of my experiences through the hate. Casino games with the best odds.
My Memorable Experiences With Haters
For background, school always bored me from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. I would rather compete in sports, get in trouble with friends, play video games, do a fantasy football draft, or do something exhilarating.
Those activities gave me wisdom and energy, which I didn't think I gained from sitting at a desk learning what the teacher says I should.
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As you may imagine, I didn't have the best discipline at school. I always misbehaved because I figured it was more interesting to get in trouble than sit in boredom.
One day when I acted bad (but not too terrible because I can't recall it), a middle school teacher—at a Catholic school actually—threw me some memorable hate.
She said, 'Brian, I promise you that you'll be in prison by the time you turn 18. I guarantee it.' Might not sound that awful as adults, but her comment hit my 11-year-old self hard. I feared I was going to prison because I didn't know better.
In a more recent example, I sent emails this spring about my new website to students at Miami University before I graduated. Like most topics, some people praised it and others strongly opposed.
One response said, 'You're not impressive. That was spam, your spam, your whole family is spam. Hate you.' Besides the grammatical errors, that's messed up because my mom is not spam. She's a great lady.
Another guy said, 'Learn photoshop douchebag.'
And when I got into a heated argument with my housemate over the NHL video game (I'm hyper competitive in many subjects), he angrily told me to send more emails and that I'm a star on the app Yik Yak. By his comment, he meant people were dishing significant hate about my email and me.
Those are a few examples of my experience with haters. These moments caught me off guard, but I learned to thrive off of them moving forward (which I'll share later).
Everyone has haters to some degree (And, if you don't have haters, you're most likely not putting your real self out there enough). They are everywhere, especially in the internet-age. Even if you're the nicest person in world, people will dislike you for being too kind.
So, because haters are basically unavoidable, it's best to learn to love them and use them for your benefit. Whatsapp facebook services.
Why To Love Haters
I love haters because when they question me, they cause me to strengthen or refine my beliefs.
I love haters because when they bring negativity, I respond by becoming more focused and determined.
I try to empathize and be kind to haters because at the end of the day, they're spending their time hating and I'm doing what I enjoy.
If you can think about your critics with a mindset of appreciation, it will be much easier to commit to the steps below and (from my experiences) effectively respond.
How To Channel Other's Criticism For Your Good
https://qyupp.over-blog.com/2021/02/event-id-1146-microsoft-windows-failover-clustering-tools.html. Here are four steps that help me respond positively to haters.
1. Respond kindly or don't respond at all. Either way, don't give them hate back.
If you feel the need to respond to better understand why they feel that way, or think an appropriate comment could heal the situation, then go for it. If you're kind, you can maybe turn that person into a follower, or gain other fans who respect your effort with the critic.
However, it's a bad idea to send them hate back. Harrahs casino games. Your retaliation will only open the door for more hate to follow. And it gives them the pleasure of getting a reaction out of you, which could be their main goal from the beginning.
Haters only have as much power over you as you give them.
2. Let the criticism go, or use it as motivation.
https://soft-jumbo.mystrikingly.com/blog/fishbowl-game-online. If you can't snap back at them, you want to know what can you do. And we will get to that in the next step. But, we first need to decide how to internally handle the hate. Otherwise, the rest of these steps are useless.
There are two options: 1) forget it from our memory, or 2) use it as motivation. The goal of filtering into one of the two categories is to manage your psychology for focused work without distractions. If you're emotionally worked up that someone criticized you, it's impossible to concentrate and produce quality work. You will waste time being distracted and doubting yourself. So, we need to control the negativity before it controls us.
The first option, if the severity of the hatred toward you is not too bad, is to move on and forget the incident happened.
For example, those negative response emails don't bother me. I laughed at them more than anything, especially the comment, 'That was spam, your spam, your whole family is spam.' Then I went back to working on Take Your Success. I only remembered these comments because I spent fifteen minutes trying to think of something recent for this post.
A second option, for the events that stir up deeper feelings which you can't forget, is to remember their hate and use it as motivation for focused work.
For instance, I vividly remember my teacher's prison comment because of the shock of that statement, the contempt in her tone, and my age at the time. I deserved discipline, but I firmly believe she acted inappropriately when she put a prison sentence on my future. She lost control, which wasn't cool of her.
So, I haven't forgotten that memory from 11 years ago, it stays in the back of my mind. But, I haven't let it ruin my psyche either. Instead, when I need motivation, I'll remember it to focus and push harder. (Plus, she was wrong. I'm 22 and haven't spent anytime in jail or prison. Sorry to disappoint.)
3. Keep moving to your finish line.
Now that the judgement is set aside and you can focus, keep moving to finish what you started.
Proving to yourself that you can do it and getting past the naysayers will take significant effort that can be painfully difficult. But, the patience and time will all be worth it when you persevere to accomplish your goal.
4. Pursue what you want to do—what makes you happy.
I sleep well at night knowing I'm pursuing what I want to do. I believe that's crucial since it puts perspective on life and minimizes the power of the negative people around you.
So, do you and you'll be satisfied.
Readers, can you relate to this? What have critics said to you? How do you handle the negativity? Is it easy for you to get motivated like me and love haters, or do you get discouraged? Any other questions?
The Problem with Haters
A hater is a very negative and critical person. These are people who immensely dislike someone or something. They are open about their dislike. In that regard, they are very honest.
The problem with haters is not that they hate you or your work. The problem is that they are very vocal about it.
By the way, not everyone who criticizes you or does not like your work is not a hater. With them is not personal, it is either business or academic. People are entitled to disagree. Heck, even I am a hater at times.
image: Marketing Land
Thanks to social media and the internet, we can accumulate as many haters as followers. Furthermore, the haters will always seem like the loudest voices criticizing you.
Love Haters Band Schedule
Haters are not satisfied with just hating you; they have to let the whole world know they do. It is almost like a personal crusade for them. And you are the enemy.
Granted, we are not a bag of gold coins for everyone to like us. Still, it hurts. And it hurts more when it is friends and family members doing it. We expect them to be on our side. They are supposed to be for us, not against us. You feel betrayed.
Nonetheless, there is an upside to haters. What is it?
Hate Me with Premeditation
Cinderella's Ugly Stepsisters, the ultimate haters ©Disney
We all have haters. We all have that one person (or many) who are against us and do not want to see us succeed. There is something about us that rubs them the wrong way. Online gambling guide.
It does not sound rational. There is nothing rational about it. No logic to explain it. Even if you asked them, they could not explain it.Yet, you do not need a degree in psychology to understand haters are not happy people. They create chaos; they live to judge and point fingers. They get off doing so. What a sad way to live.
Nevertheless, their hate is not arbitrary. They hate you with premeditation. With them is personal (even if you don't know them). They are merchants and hate is the currency. Don't let them bankrupt you.
So, what is their problem with you? What is so personal? Easy. You have something they don't. You are doing something they wish they could.
Hence, haters secretly want to be you. It should be flattering but it is not. Because their actions do not come from a place of admiration but jealousy and envy.
How to deal with them? This post is not about that. There are dozens of posts about it. Some of them contradictory.
This is how I handle them:- I ignore them and block them on social media. As you should do with toxic people.
- I will as them a clarification question. You want to determine they are indeed haters.
- I would respond to them once. Politely. And then ignored. They can taunt me all they want. I am done.
So, again, how come I love these judgemental bunch?
Why Do I Love my Haters?
image: John Pavlovitz
We talked about how negative self-talk affects writers. In effect, we are our worst enemies since we are full of doubts and fears. The last thing we need are haters feeding us more.
And yet, I love my haters. Do I need my head examined? Of course, but not because of this. I love my haters for one simple reason:If you have haters, you must be doing something right. (paraphrased) —Lisa Newton
As a matter of fact, haters keep you humble (See? You ain't that awesome.) while feeding your motivation (I will show these naysayers).
If you got hundreds of people telling you how much they hate your work, look at the silver line, at least they are reading your work and are engaged enough to leave a negative review. Bad publicity is still publicity.
The name of the game is discoverability. We want to improve our chances of being discovered. Haters create the noise. Eventually, people's curiosity will lead them to check out your work to see why it is so controversial.
Moreover, haters are self-defeating. They rather spend time criticizing you than work on themselves. And the more they make you the problem, the farther they are from their goals. It is easier to judge than to create.
Like we say in Puerto Rico:
No envidies lo que tengo; jódete trabajando igual que yo. (Do not envy what I have; screw yourself working for it like I do).
In the end, it is not your haters who are going to have the last word; it is your fans, those for whom your work resonates. They will defend you from your haters. Thus, ignore the haters; focus on your fans.
In conclusion, love your haters because they mean you are getting exposure. But do not neglect your fans because it is them, not your haters, who will make or break you.
Reader, do you have haters? How do you deal with them?